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Byron: an Enemy to English Etiquette

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Cast

Lord Byron

JC Hobhouse

Mr. Watts

Mr. Meryon

Mr. Adair

Shop owner

Fletcher​

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Scene 1

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Hadji Bey's Tobacco Emporium, Constantinople, 1810

 

W: Mr. Bey - can you mix some rose leaves in with the Yenice and (squidges leaves) - some Güler AÄŸgez? - just to fragrance the air in the salon, you understand?

HB: Ah! we have yet to convert all the English to the pipe! - Rose or Jasmine will succeed, Ä°ngiliz friend (potters about his mixing trays)

M: Does such a thing as lemon tobacco exist, I wonder?

HB (splutters): Ye beylers! - ha! - lemon? 

W: Mr. Meryon - perchance our ideas of exoticism are unnatural (laughs)

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Doors open - in walks two men and an English gentleman robed in a scarlet coat richly embroidered with gold

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HB: Merhaba, gentlemen (bows) - er (whispers to W) - Mr. Watts, is the English aide-de-camp a - er - gentleman?

W(surveys): I see your dilemma Mr. Bey - hmmm - his countenance suggests about the age of two-and-twenty - his features are remarkably delicate - almost giving him a feminine appearance - but for the manly expression of those fine blue eyes

M: He has a very visible lameness in one of his legs - could he be the Lord Byron? I have heard he and his amico Mr. Hobhouse of his late arrival in the Salsette frigate just up from the Smyrna station he has been previously travelling in Epirus ard Asia Minor, with his friend h

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W: Well - that tall man is a professional Cicerone to strangers - the other a Janissary attached to the English embassy

HB: Such a yakışıklı adam! Not many so handsome English men, no? (snickers)

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B enters the inner shop, takes off his feathered cocked-hat, showing a head of curly auburn hair, which improved in no small degree the uncommon beauty of his face

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B(shyly): Good day gentlemen (to Janissary) - what is the name of the tobacconist?

J(whispers): Hadji Bey, milord

B: Mr. Bey - I am but a great amateur of smoking, but our Ambassador to the Porte, Mr. Adair recommends purchasing a few pipes - er to say - borular?

C: Tubi?

J: A fumer? Pipe?

W: If I may be of help - Mr. Bey supplies many clubs in London - and Fortnums in Picadilly, of course - they may be familiar to you

B: Tobacco - I prefer to chew

W: It is most vexing not to be a polyglot in this most metropolitan of cities - perhaps I may be of help to you?

​B: Why, an Englishman? (B shakes W's hand cordially) - I assure you, (warmly) I always feel great pleasure whenever meeting with a countryman abroad

 

His purchase and my bargain being completed, we walked out together

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Scene 2

 

 

B & W ramble about the streets

 

in several of which I had the pleasure of directing his attention to some of the most remarkable curiosities in Constantinople. The peculiar circumstances under which our acquaintance took place established between us, in one day, a certain degree of intimacy, which two or three years frequenting each others company in England would most likely not have accomplished. I frequently addressed him by his name, but he did not think of inquiring how I came to learn it, nor of asking mine. His lordship had not yet laid the foundation of that literary renown which he afterwards acquired; on the contrary, he was only known as the author of his Hours of Idleness; and the severity with which the Edinburgh Reviewers had criticised that production was still fresh in every English reader’s recollection. I could not, therefore, be supposed to seek his acquaintance from any of those motives of vanity which have actuated so many others since;

 

 

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Scene 3

 

but it was natural that, after our accidental rencontre, and all that passed between us on that occasion, I should, on meeting him in the course of the same week at dinner at the English ambassador’s, have requested one of the secretaries, who was intimately acquainted with him, to introduce me to him in regular form.

His lordship testified his perfect recollection of me, but in the coldest manner, and immediately after turned his back on me. This unceremonious proceeding, forming a striking contrast with previous occurrences, had something so strange in it, that I was as a loss how to account for it, and felt at the same time much disposed to entertain a less favourable opinion of his lordship than his apparent frankness had inspired me with at our first meeting.

 

Some days after, B spots W in the streets, coming up with a smile of good-nature in his countenance

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B: Mr. Watts - please, give me your honest right hand - I am an enemy to English etiquette, especially out of England, and I always make my own acquaintance without waiting for the formality of an introduction

W(shuffles but offers hand)

B: I even refused an offer of a lodging at the English palace - I prefer the freedom of my homely inn - If you have nothing to do, and are disposed for another ramble, I shall be glad of your company - if I may again borrow your arm on the cobbles (irresistible attraction in his manner)

W: But certainly, I should be delighted - now, I have no guide-book...

B: Thank god for that! 

 

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There was that irresistible attraction in his manner, of which those who have had the good fortune to be admitted into his intimacy can alone have felt the power in his moments of good-humour

 

W: We visited again more of the most remarkable curiosities of the capital, a description of which would here be but a repetition of what a hundred travellers have already detailed with the utmost minuteness and accuracy; but

 

B: his lordship expressed much disappointment at their want of interest. He praised the picturesque beauties of the town itself, and its surrounding scenery; and seemed of opinion that nothing else was worth looking at.

 

B: He spoke of the Turks in a manner which might have given reason to suppose that he had made a long residence among them

W:

B: The Greeks will sooner or later, rise against them; but if they do not make haste, I hope Buonaparte will come and drive the useless rascals away

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https://www.lordbyron.org/monograph.php?doc=ThMoore.1830&select=AD1810

by the light of Sun and Moon

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Untitled Project (6)_edited_edited_edite
Untitled Project (6)_edited_edited_edite
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